The sky's the limit; dream big ★ (deleaah) wrote,
The sky's the limit; dream big ★

I Still Care [7/14]

I Still Care [7/14]

Yesung/Ryeowook, a few ninjas
R | Romance, Drama
Life was never particularly kind to Ryeowook. If it meant indulging him in the riches, opportunies thrown at him, then he doesn't need that kindness. All he wanted is a friend, but it's much too hard to ask for.
Warnings: Mentions of drugs, weapons, some vulgar slips, insanely OOC

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06


Hello ^^ Back here with another update :) It's a LOT longer than usual but I hope you all enjoy reading it ^^



“YAH! Stop this!” Heechul suddenly emerge from his seat and started to wave his arms around, indicating what ‘this‘ which was the air around us.

“What’s this?” Leeteuk asked and imitated Heechul. I let out a little snicker; they both look pretty ridiculous waving their arms around. That earned me a little kick under the table and a menacing glare from Sungmin.

Hangeng started to pull on Heechul’s shirt, “Chullie…sit down and continue eating,” Hangeng said with his gentle voice.

“Geng, I know you want my shirt off, but you have to wait until nighttime,” Heechul responded while smirking. Oh gosh…hyung is really something…

We could hear a ‘thud’ as Leeteuk’s hand slapped his forehead at Heechul’s response.

“Anyway, back to the topic. It’s so…awkward!” Heechul complained. We all knew it was awkward but Heechul hyung, when you say that…it makes things SO MUCH MORE AWKWARD. I guess he has yet to learn. We all knew there was some sort of argument or something between Yesung hyung and Ryeowook. I refuse to call Ryeowook ‘hyung.'

You could tell the moment Yesung arrived at the table, the air suddenly…got tensed and Ryeowook stayed remarkably quiet. It continued like that despite the other members’ little chat here and there. I guess Heechul being Heechul couldn’t take the atmosphere and just blew up.

Everyone froze but some stole a glance at Ryeowook and Yesung. Yesung just continued eating like nothing happened and Ryeowook just played with his food.

“So...” Kangin started to talk, trying to start a new conversation. Thankfully it worked and we started talking again…though Yesung and Ryeowook made no effort to join it despite Sungmin asking for Ryeowook’s opinions and Shindong asking Yesung questions about food.

Suddenly Yesung stood up and we could hear his chair scrapping against the wooden title floor. He hung his head low and muttered something inaudible to the ears but it sounded like, “I’m going out for a while.”

Leeteuk nodded his head in approval. It’s funny how we listen to Leeteuk so much; he’s older than us but he can’t really stop us from going where we want to go. My attention got diverted to Yesung again. Did he leave because of the awkwardness? Because someone FINALLY said something about it? Who knows…but at least we know he’ll come back…unlike Ryeowook.


It’s good that Yesung’s going out for a while, to think it through…with peace and quiet. Though I don’t know what happened with him and Ryeowook; I hope it gets solved soon. Surprisingly, it looks like Yesung’s the one that’s mad and Ryeowook’s the one that made him mad. It isn’t easy to make Yesung mad; in fact…I’ve never seen him mad before.

Good thing we have no schedules today; I don’t know what would happen if we continued with this tense and awkward atmosphere. After Yesung left, everyone returned to normal…almost. We tried to restore it back to the loud chaotic morning we usually have but Ryeowook left afterwards. Is he going to look for Yesung? Who knows.


As I walked around the little park near our dorm, everything reminded me of Yesung. The kids arguing with each other reminded me when Yesung first found me and practically dragged me home; how I hated him so much at the time.

I sat down on the bench and let the wind run through my hair. How I wish it would just take the thoughts in my mind with it. Why is life…so confusing? When I made that stupid bet with my friends, I didn’t take ‘Super Junior’ seriously at all. I just wanted to win the bet and look good in front of my friends.

Afterwards…I would leave, despite my parents’ disapproval against that but who are they to decide anything? It all changed when Yesung…just started to hunt me down at night; it was almost like hide and seek. I let out a little chuckle. I really do appreciate Yesung… a lot.

Suddenly an older kid came to stop the two kids from arguing. It reminds me of Leeteuk. If he were there when Yesung and I were arguing, he would have stepped in and tried to stop it. He does that a lot in the dorm. You can’t get along well with 12 other members. We all have different personalities, likes and dislikes so you’re not going to love every single person. I guess Leeteuk feels like it’s his fault for any conflict because he’s the leader of the group. Being the leader doesn’t mean you have to hide your feelings…sometimes I wish we can get him drunk so he can spill his thoughts.

I got ready to get up but stopped in my path. There was a flower dancing to the wind. For some reason…that reminded me of Sungmin; always so bubbly and happy. You smile just seeing him. Sungmin…the one that never stopped bothering me ever since we knew that we were going to be a group. I really thought he was a pest but sometimes when I’m waiting for them at breakfast…I’m secretly waiting for Sungmin’s smile to appear and just greet me.

Those three I’m pretty close with, I think that if we have the time, I could easily become close with the rest; despite me saying that I won’t talk to any of them. We have different dreams, my path and theirs…don’t intersect.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. When did I get so poetic? When did I develop these feelings towards them? These feelings of ‘friendship,’ are they real?


The kitchen feels much bigger without Ryeowook here. The work is also a lot harder with just one pair of hands doing everything. I never knew I depended on him so much. I guess I knew this was kind of coming; ever since this morning, his mind's been out of it.

I hope he comes back soon; cooking for Super Junior is hard. They all have different preferences when it comes to food and you can’t satisfy everyone’s demands. Well, I guess its easier today; Ryeowook and Yesung aren’t coming. But…I rather have everyone eating at the dinner table even if I have to cook more rather than missing members; it just…doesn’t feel right.


“I’m home,” Ryeowook quietly announced while entering through the door.

“Welcome home!” Everyone automatically responded. Ryeowook smiled even brighter upon hearing this.

We all know about Ryeowook’s background, so we try not to mention our family members to him. If we do by accident, Ryeowook just stays quiet and listens to everyone’s story…more like admire everyone’s story…

“I thought you weren’t going to make it for dinner,” Donghae said, his eyes glued to the TV.

“ What made you think that?” Ryeowook curiously asked. Because of what happened this morning, that’s what made us think that. Of course, we can’t say it though.


It got silent for a while until I finally spoke up. “Ryeowook, help me in the kitchen.”

Ryeowook agreed and followed me to the kitchen.


11:27 PM, 11:27 PM, 11:27 PM, 11:27 PM... Ryeowook, how long are you going to stare at the alarm clock? It says 11:27 PM; it’s almost midnight. Go to sleep already! Weren’t you complaining to your friends before that you needed your beauty sleep?!

I wonder why I’m up this late…Actually…I don’t need to wonder, I know why I’m up this late.

I’m waiting for Yesung. He didn’t appear at dinner today…I wonder where he went? Did something happen to him? Is he still mad?… Speaking of why he’s mad... What does Super Junior mean to me? Would I stay? I don’t know.

All I know is that I’m going crazy waiting for him. Is this how he feels…when I leave at night? I wonder how he reacted the first time I left. He’s smart though, to follow me the minute I leave so he doesn’t go crazy finding me.

I quickly changed into my jeans and put on a random sweater. How I would regret it if I could look at myself in the mirror right now; Kim Ryeowook who spends at least 30 minutes before, just choosing the right shirt to match with the shoes or the coat that goes so well with my jeans; but here I am…just carelessly choosing jeans and taking out a random sweater.

I quietly crept out of the room and slowly headed for the door. As I reached for the door handle, “Where are you going Ryeowook?”

I jumped and turned to see Leeteuk crossing his arms and staring at me with happy eyes.


“To find Yesung?” Leeteuk asked. How he knew…I don’t know.

I just nodded my head.

“I thought I was going to stay here all night waiting for you to get ready to go out.”

“How did you know I was leaving?”

“If I didn’t know what you were thinking, how could I call myself the leader?”Leeteuk asked, making it sound like the most obvious thing.

“So…I’ll be going now,” I said, while turning the knob.

“Don’t you want to know where he is?” Why doesn’t he just tell me instead of torturing me with these trivia questions?

“Do you know where he is?”

“He texted me because he thought I would worry about him.”

“I see.”

“Don’t you want to know?”

I nodded my head.

“You know the park by our dorm? There’s a bridge somewhere near there, he’s there…just staring at the water.” …Staring at the water? I knew Yesung was unique but I think unique is an understatement.

“Thanks, hyung.”

“Ryeowook…don’t hesitate to express your feelings to him. I know it may be hard for you...but Yesung…I think he really deserves it. Whether you listen to my advice or not is your choice but I hope both of you can come back as close friends.” Leeteuk said while smiling softly at the end.

“I’ll try to follow your advice Teukie hyung…but I want you to go to sleep as soon as I leave.”

“…Alright, alright, I’ll try to go to sleep afterwards.”

I slowly left the dorm. So Yesung and I are considered close... I smiled at the thought.

I stared at the night sky and was amazed by the stars. I never seriously admired them before but now that I look at them…they're beautiful. Like a thousand diamonds glistening in the night sky.

The bridge slowly came into view and I could see a figure leaning on it, staring deeply into the water like there was money in it. If Leeteuk didn’t tell me that he would be here, I would have thought that he was reconsidering thoughts of jumping off the bridge. Is the water even deep enough.

I slowly approached him; his eyes never left the water. I wonder what was so special about it.

I cleared my throat and he seemed to notice me; he turned around. He was surprise to see me, but only said, “Hello, Ryeowook.” I didn’t like how he greeted me…like we were strangers or something…no feelings in it at all. I don’t like this, Yesung.

“What’s so interesting about the water?” I asked, trying to get him into a conversation.

“Nothing really, I just like looking at the moon’s reflection dancing on the little ripples of the water.”

“I see.”

“Ryeowook…if you leave…I don’t know what would happen to us.”

I just stood there…shocked...happy...surprised. I want to say something but I don’t know how to respond to him.

“I know it must have scared all the members because of me suddenly leaving but I just didn’t know what to do…what to think. So I just left here to think it through…think of the future, what would happen IF you left…Ryeowook, Super Junior isn’t Super Junior if you’re not there.”

His words greatly touched me but I know that it’s not right. They’ve all been in tears…pain…sweat just to get where they are now. Some have left their home...oppose their parents to get where they are today. This is their dream when they were little while I haven’t even given a single thought about my dream at all.

“I know that if I leave…it’ll cause everyone trouble but even I don’t know if this what I really want,” I confessed.

“I can tell that you really do want this—“ he started to say but I interrupted him.

“How, how can you see it?” I challenged him. I don’t want to be influenced by people’s words anymore, not now and of course not like before.

“Because I…really do care for you Ryeowook...I really do,” He raised his arm and started to reach out towards me.

I took a step back; it wasn’t big, barely unnoticeable, actually but meant so much more. I only found out of my actions a few seconds later; I regretted it a lot the same time...I didn’t.

I suddenly heard some strange movements and I looked up to see Yesung…standing on the bridge…looking at the water. Is he going to jump? No! Don’t!

“Yesung, what are you doing?!” I frantically asked.

“If you don’t believe my words, then would my actions be enough then?” He asked without turning around.

“I believe you, Yesung…just get down!” I shouted at him. I never doubted his care for me but would he care for me forever?

“You don’t believe me when I say I care for you. Not only me, but Leeteuk…Sungmin…Hangeng…everyone in Super Junior cares for you. Why don’t you give us a chance to care for you? Why do you lock everyone out?!” Yesung screamed his voice shaky now.

“I don’t know! I don’t know! I don’t know!” I screamed back.

“Do my feelings not reach out to you?” He quietly mumbled.

“I know…you care for me, they DO reach out to me bu—“My thoughts are all jumbled up…all soaring through my mind, not staying long enough for me to process to because…there are just too much...

“Not that feeling…my feelings…the feelings that I’ve had all this time. My love for you,” Yesung

responded while finally turning around and had a light blush dusted on his cheeks.

I covered my mouth so he wouldn’t see it hanging open. I never thought that I would fall in love with Yesung…it was hard for me to admit that I wasn’t straight…I always thought…already loving Yesung is one of the most happiest thing that ever happened to me and I never asked for more. Who knew that we would have mutual feelings for each other? What did I do to deserve a person like you? Just secretly watching me and hunting me down every night, which was already enough.

“Yesung.Get.Down.” I said in a demanding tone that no one could object to. Yesung seem surprised by my tone; he slowly got down and hung his head low.

I raised my hand and he flinched thinking that I was going to slap him. Instead I…


I closed my eyes and prepared for a slap across my face. Maybe I was too inconsiderate confessing to him when he was so emotionally unstable. When he couldn’t even process his thoughts, being told that people care for him…that they actually do. It must have been hard for him to believe. Then me just blurting out that I like him…that must have made things worst.

Instead I felt tiny arms wrapped around me. My eyes flew open and Ryeowook was shining when he looked up at me. His words struck me, “Me too,” and let out a little laugh afterwards.

“Really?!” I asked; am I hearing wrong? Is this a dream?! Or a secret camera, maybe?

Ryeowook nodded.

Suddenly I heard snickering from the bushes and narrowed my eyes at it suspiciously. It surprisingly sounded like Leeteuk's infamous high pitch laugh.

Ryeowook looked at the bushes as well. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” I quietly whispered to him.

He nodded his head in agreement.

“Follow my lead,” I whispered again.

“I can’t take it anymore, Ryeowook! If you won’t take me seriously, then I’ll just have to prove with my actions!” I announced loudly enough for all of them to hear. I climbed on the railing, so I could get ready to jump.

“No! Yesung, Don’t!” Ryeowook yelled; even if you’re deaf…you could probably hear it. I held my hand out so Ryeowook could kneel down on the bridge as well. We both jumped into the water.


All we heard was a ‘splash’ and before we knew it…We were all crowding the bridge; the place where they last stood.

I could hear Leeteuk giving orders already. “Hurry, someone call the ambulance!” He frantically yelled while he looked around nervously.

“Hyung…why were you stalking us?” a voice asked that sounded awfully like Yesung.

We peered down at the bridge and there was Yesung and Ryeowook grinning up at us.


Heechul then proceeded to jump down after them and the first thing he did was knock both of them on the head with his knuckles.

“DO YOU WANT TO DIE FOR REAL?!” I yelled at them. They laughed at me in response but were still glued to each other. What an eyesore.

Hangeng then sighed at his boyfriend…”GENG! COME~!” Heechul whined. He closed his eyes and then jumped down after them.

Before we knew it, we were all down in the water…soaking wet. I hope none of us catches a cold tomorrow.

“YESUNG, YOU KNOW HOW TO SWIM?!” Ryeowook suddenly asked, surprised.

“Yes…” he muttered.


“I just wanted to prove that I care for you…I didn’t say that I didn’t know how to swim.” He confessed while scratching his head.

Ryeowook didn’t look amuse by his confession and turned his back to Yesung.

“Aiigo, Ryeowook…I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” Yesung pleaded while massaging his shoulders. Aish…they’re in the honeymoon stage already. Get prepared for mushiness and gagging in the future.


This is just Deleaah talking ^^ I hope to get at least 2 more chapters out before school starts for me :) It starts somewhere on the first week of September so wish me luck :D

I know chinyua's going to comment so in advance...THANK YOU FOR COMMENTING VERA DEAR ^^! I'm always so happy to see you commenting so I just wanted to say that ^^ ~

Have a nice day readers ^^ I hope you all comment to give me feedback since this is my first fanfic and...I feel like it's really lacking. Aiya, I'm talking a lot now. I'll just end it here. BYE :D!
Tags: fic: i still care, ryeowook, super junior, yesung, yewook
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