The sky's the limit; dream big ★ (deleaah) wrote,
The sky's the limit; dream big ★
deleaah

I Still Care

I Still Care [14/14]
Yesung/Ryeowook, a few ninjas
R | Romance, Drama
Life was never particularly kind to Ryeowook. If it meant indulging him in the riches, opportunies thrown at him, then he doesn't need that kindness. All he wanted is a friend, but it's much too hard to ask for.
Warnings: Mentions of drugs, weapons, some vulgar slips, insanely OOC

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13


*~*



“We’ll do fine,” Leeteuk says, patting me. To be truthful, I thought Leeteuk was trying to convince himself that, but I didn’t have the heart to burst his bubble.

I nod, not denying it, but not exactly accepting it. I felt a slight breeze. I looked out the window, on a cool night like this, the wind still blew. There were innumerable possibilities on where it could have gone, but it decided to come here, it must mean something.

“Let’s just do our best, okay?” I say. No regrets. Just smiles.

“Group huddle first,” Leeteuk smiled, then gesture for everyone to gather.

“As the leader, it’s kind of expected that I’ll be making cliché speeches, so bear with me,” Leeteuk said, and Kyuhyun snickers. Sungmin glares and everything goes back to normal.

“This road wasn’t easy, there were a lot of bumps, and we got hurt but after the hurt was gone, we became closer. I think those things are necessary in our life because it helps us find our inner self. Try our hardest and don’t fret over mistakes,” he enunciated the word bumps with a certain emphasis that served as a reminder to us, and I couldn’t deny the guilt bubbling inside.

The memories of that night came back. The night that decided our future. To smile or a frown, I don’t know which one was suitable.

“Through this, we found each other. So let’s depend on one another, okay?” But that night, I chose to smile and even now.

“Let’s go and give it our best,” he remarked. It felt like the air suddenly got thinner, the members appeared more relax through his words. Not relaxed as he would have liked though. It was like our medicine to stress. I could see why Leeteuk was chosen as the leader, partially because of his old age, but with that old age came experience and values that we were all lacking. And the thought of Heechul being leader scared everyone.

With that, we started clapping. It wasn’t too cliché, but it gave us the reassurance that we needed. I felt confident, like I could overcome anything with these people’s support. I felt invulnerable.

Then the cue came, it was our turn. My eyes flicker around the room, quickly seeing the members' worries and fright eat away at them, but as soon as it came, it was erased by their loving partner. My mind drifted to thoughts swiveling around Yesung. I wonder how—

“Don’t be nervous Wookie,” Sungmin whispers. I flitch a little, much to his delight; I guess years of martial arts gave him the necessary balance to move like a literal ninja.

“I’m not.” It was the truth. Worry, nervous, stage fright never engulfed me today. Instead, it was just blank, my mind was blank. At that point, I thought I should be scared for not feeling anything, but the most it did was cause me to tilt my head in question.

“Liar.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’ll do great out there.”

“Same as you.”

The lights hurt my eyes, I thought my ears were going to bleed from the screams and the microphone felt heavier in my hand. For a second, I was uncertain if this was right for me, if I could bear the weight of it, if I could hold onto it for the next few years.

“You have to hold onto it tighter.” A knowing smile grace my lips, much faster than the time it took me to refuse it.

His hand held the microphone but I figure it was his lame and rather truism excuse to hold on to my hand but I wasn’t complaining.

“You know, if the fans see this,” I said while raising our hands wrap around the microphone, “We’re screwed.” Yesung laughed, a heartfelt and lighthearted laugh, a careless laugh.

“Wouldn’t it be better if they knew?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“But you love this idiot,” Kibum interjected. I send Kibum a glare and he flutter away as quickly as he came. Yesung laughed, but let go of my hand when we were in sight of everyone, our fans. I don’t know if it was because our song was ably made or Siwon’s good looks, but we had fans cheering for us. It was touching, but at the same time, more pressuring. I don’t know if I could handle this. Trying to satisfy all of these people, it felt so heavy, I didn’t think my shoulders are even broad enough.

The music came on, and we stood in uniform. Then the music exploded, we exploded; our efforts, our tears, and our achievement, all in the form of our dancing, our singing, and our passion. It was exhilarating, like going down a roller coaster, except this one stretched on forever.

Through the lights and unfamiliar faces, I found a pair of smiling eyes—my grandparents were in the audience. Despite the hyper fangirls and fanboys, they stood there, just looking at me. Their warmth reached out to mine and when it was my turn to sing, it belted out and frolicked with me. I also noticed the lack of people, presumably my parents.

Ever since Yesung woke up from his coma, he was weak. That wasn’t surprising, but it still hurt to see him struggle with the simplest things. But Lee Sooman was true to his words, our debut was delayed—not by a lot, thus giving us less time for Yesung to prepare—but we made it. The sleepless nights, more visits to the practice room and recording studio, everything paid off.

I even made an effort to talk to my parents, but that couldn’t change their status in the company, their busy schedules. I don’t think it changed anything but I’m proud. I tried.
I told my friends what I wanted, and they accepted it, not well, but accepted it. Soon enough, some of them disappeared, it was expected, but what surprised me were the ones that stayed, the same ones who were present tonight as well. I threw some smiles their way, and they responded with the same sincerity.

Everything stopped and in the midst of everything, I manage to get the dance right—not flawlessly like Hyukjae, but right—and my singing was satisfactory. It could be called a good start to a long journey. Yes, a good start, a new start was what I needed, what all of us needed.

The microphone was handed to Leeteuk who gave a thank-you speech which I drowned out, and tried to smile at my grandparents through the fatigue. They gave me a thumbs up, and I could feel my lips curve into a smile.


-------


“Good job guys,” Leeteuk said.

Cacophony erupted as all of us—yes, all 13 of us—let out the stress and joy from taking this big step. We didn’t fall or stumble, we just walked, nice and at our own pace. If only it could be this easy from now on, but things that are this good are never easy nor do they last long.

Colors filled our eyes as we stopped in our tracks to admire the bouquets of flowers. It was almost expected that we would receive this— from our parents, guardians, and the company— to congratulate us. Most of us gathered around them, amorously. I walked past them, towards the bottled of water. Something I actually needed.

As I screwed open the cap, nuances of colors prettified my eyes. I arch my eyebrow. “It’s yours,” Kangin replied, head blobbing out from the bouquet. There were three bouquets, surprisingly. I put one on the counter, as I looked at the first one. It was pretty, a flock of flowers, giving off foreign fragrances. I opened the card:

“Ryeowook, today’s the big day! Don’t fail us as our grandson! We believe that you’ll exceed our expectations and give us a reason to brag about you more often. Come home safely; don’t get mugged by the girls enticed by you. Wouldn’t want to lose such a pretty grandson.

-Yunhee and Namil.”


I smiled and rolled my eyes at my grandparents' silly yet sweet letter. It was a mixture of both of my grandma’s and grandpa’s charms clumped into a bare 5 sentences. The second bouquet was a distorted explosion of random flowers of different colors, a strange choice. Curious, I opened the letter.

“Handsome Ryeowookie! Will you transfer your fierceness to your dancing and singing? You better. When you’re famous, don’t forget us and remember to introduce us to the other famous people and some pretty fans. *wink wink*

-Your handsome friends.

P.S. Do you like the flowers? We didn’t know which ones to get.”


I laughed a little at the letter filled with utter triviality, but I was thankful for their efforts. Well, it explained the rather queer flower choice. I eyed the third bouquet, and questions of who popped into my mind. This bouquet was more of a simpler one, less dynamic than the previous two.

“Some things came up and we couldn’t make it. We hope you do well. We never told you this before, but you’re our pride Ryeowook, you won’t disappoint us.

-Mom and Dad”


It was rather short, but I could feel—very subtly—their disappointment at the things that came up. It was expected, I wasn’t surprised, but disappointed. I wish they could have came, even for a second, it would be enough. But they were trying, like me. And sooner or later, our efforts would pay off. It always does.

“They wanted to come.”

I turned around and was caught in my grandma’s warm hug. I snuggled closer to her warmth, missing it.

“I know,” I replied and felt my grandpa give me a pat.

“You did well today,” he remarks and I smiled.

“There’s always room for improvement,” I commented.

“It’ll come when the years go by,” another voice interrupted.

I peered over and my eyes liked what they saw, Yesung. “For sure,” he added.

My hand reached out to him, and he held it, firmly. Both of us afraid of the latter disappearing forever, we already experience it before and we weren’t planning to let history repeat itself. Never.

“Go eat dinner with your band mates,” Grandma suddenly remarks. Usually, celebratory dinners were expected, and someone usually pays. Though, I couldn’t quite pinpoint who it was going to be today.

“Your parents couldn’t make it, but they already reserved a dinner for you and your friends. They’re paying.” Typical.

“They’ll be happy to hear it,” Yesung said. He was already making his way over to announce it, ultimately leaving my hands in the process.

“He’s a keeper,” Grandpa said, watching as my eyes followed Yesung.

“I know.”


-------


“Congratulations on your comeback! It’s been a long year.” The radio host says, and the responses are wild. Messages after messages come in, all with similar wishes and greetings. I smile at the screen and silently read them, each of the words, their feelings drawing a picturesque painting in my heart. One of warmth, smiles and laughter.

Something I use to lack greatly, but today I overflow outstandingly.

“So, it’s been a year since your debut, what are your thoughts about Super Junior?” She tries to stir up the mood, wanting to hear words straight from our hearts. I felt my heart growing warm at the words, Super Junior. Two years ago, Super Junior was a play word. The words were something insignificant, something easily given to me. I wasn’t used to such an honorable title, now I cherish it, I want to make it last forever. But forever doesn’t require only my strength, but the strength of thirteen.

After hearing everyone’s maudlin remark, tears started to brim our eyes. I ponder about the right words, what words should I say? Will words even come out?

“Ryeowook-sshi?” I looked up, and noticed that it was my turn. I saw Leeteuk briefly, and he nodded, trusting what I had said was something worth listening to.

Then I saw Siwon's mouth, “Say whatever.”

I closed my eyes. Let’s let my feelings speak for a change. What I want to say.

“To say what Super Junior means to me, it’s going to be a long story. Please keep listening.” I heave a sigh. The members all had a knowing look in their eyes, and waited for me to continue.

“My past wasn’t very colorful. It was okay, but not the best.” I pause, contemplating whether I should continue or not. This is a live broadcast, so there’s no fancy editing or whatever to remove this segment. This is the realest thing the fans will ever get.

“When I became a trainee—it was rather easy, I must admit—I didn’t appreciate anything. The opportunity, life itself. Everything was given, thrown at my face, it was too easy. I didn’t struggle; I didn’t break a bead of sweat.” I pause to open my eyes for a bit, and Yesung gestured for me to continue.

“That was until 2 years ago, through some events, I unknowingly changed. It wasn’t a big change, but a much needed change. I knew that I was going to debut—see how easy things were—and the members were always there, they certainly didn’t change but I somehow saw them through a new light because of that event. The funny thing was that when I finally decided to change, the past started appearing, the consequences of my mistakes showed up, I felt lost and helpless. But through that time, the members’ faith didn’t waver; they supported me and encouraged me to look forward to my life.” I noticed the members smiling, too much for my liking. It was the first time I ever told anyone this, even Yesung.

“Even if I set my mind to it, years of practical routine doesn’t change, it takes time. They’re willing to wait for it, and still give me their support despite the threats of disappointment. The members—“ I gesture to the members, “Give me a reason to brag about my present and future. Super Junior is my present and definitely my future.”

Everyone seems satisfied with my response as some nodded, the ones close enough patted my shoulder, sending feeble punches. There was this weird feeling in my chest, I don’t know what it was but it made me happy, it made me smile like a dork.

Minutes pass by, the radio host seems pleased with our responses, base on the in-coming phone calls and the messages on the screen, but she wasn’t content with only that, she wanted more. “Ryeowook-sshi, you seem quiet after your long confession,” she remarks, eyeing me greedily.

I sheepishly laugh, “What information do you want?”

“I like talking to you, you’re straight to the point,” she cunningly replied. “The necklace around your neck, in most—if not, all—of your photo shoots, you wear it. What’s the significance of it?”

“You seem very vigilant,” I remark. The stylist noona’s complaints came raining in my mind and it was becoming hard to keep a straight face. I watch as Yesung’s eyes sparkle at the mention of his present, but I remember Lee Sooman having a long and tedious discussion about our ‘relationship’ . Secrecy is a must. I obediently followed his instructions.

“Nice try Ryeowook, don’t change the topic.”

“Looks like I have to be honest then. This necklace was given to me by a very special friend. It’s meant to keep me safe from trouble, and I think it’s working.” The members sighed at my obvious comments and I threw an apologetic smile at Yesung who frowned in disappointment.

“Is this friend a girl?” She ask, prying deeper.

“I don’t know. Is it a girl?” I reply, trying to keep my face unreadable. I think it's working.

“Ryeowook-sshi, you’re no fun.”

“I’ll tell you this. It’s someone important,” I teased, watching as Yesung brightened up at the remark. Even though the members call us Yewook, I always feel that I have the upper hand. I could control his mood with a snap of my fingers. I never let him know though, Yesung seems to marvel in that fact.


-------


“Thank you Super Junior for coming in today!” the radio host said and everyone started clapping, glad that it was over, glad that we had such an opportunity.

We all disperse after our manager drop us off at our dormitory, some heading to the comforts of their bed, some heading to the city lights, but Yesung and I were heading towards the calm Han River. I could taste the saltiness of the river, and feel the wind as it kisses my cheeks. It feels nice.

“Are we really your future?” Yesung ask, holding on to my hand tightly, afraid that all of my blabbing might be just for a show, to bring happiness to the fans and create some sort of image for myself, but I was never that calculative.

“What do you think?” I teased, and he rolled his eyes.

“I’m serious.”

“I’m serious too.”

Yesung had a distant look in his eyes as his thoughts wander. I felt his grip loosened, and I wonder how easy it would be to run, but I knew that running wouldn’t just be running, it meant something else.

“Yes, I think we are your future.”

I squeezed his hand and smiled. “Good choice.”

He brightened up. “You know, I always thought that this day would come as a dream. But it's reality—“ he reach out to nothingness and tries to grab a hold on it, I gawk at him. “And it’s within my fingertips.” He smiled that childish smile that made me notice him a few years ago. Years, it’s already been that long and yet here we are, feelings unchanged, still so strong. It felt like a miracle. I was experiencing a miracle.

“Years from now, I want Super Junior as it is. Like our feelings, I don’t want it to change, but to charge forward and gain strength.”

“I believe you just said something really corny—Ow”

“I was being serious,” I said, as Yesung went to hold onto my hand again.

“I was too,” he smiled cheekily.

I rolled my eyes. Though the years have gone by, he, like our feelings, didn’t change. “Let’s do something crazy, okay?” A spark lit his eyes, and I prepared myself for the embarrassment that was about to come; he knew that I’d agree no matter what.

“Let’s scream really loudly, let out all of our feelings,” he said, and we both turn to look towards the river and how easy it would be for the body of wave to just come, engulf us in it, and then retreat, becoming one with the water.

“1,2—“He paused, sparing me a glance, “3!”

With that, we screamed. I don’t know what he screamed about, but mine was about the happiness I felt, the feeling of finally being able to feel happy, the feeling of completion and how easily it came to me. As my scream grew louder and louder, I knew that the negativity of the past three years were being released, the bottled up feelings, everything.

After the weird stares—which I was used to— and the constant murmurs, we stopped, looked at each other and laughed. “You’re an idiot,” I mumbled.

“Takes one to know one,” he slyly retorts with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Let’s run,” I suggested, he quirk a brow at my sudden remark. “Okay?”

“You’re on,” he laughed.

With that, both of us sprinted off, laughing as the sun started to peek out from its hazy hiding. Even if the skies get so dark that it becomes difficult to see the stars, it never lasts for long. At the darkest hours—I held on tightly to the necklace Yesung gave me—this’ll keep me safe. So even if I run fast, out of their sight, the promise that someone, even if it’s one person still cares is enough. Super Junior, Yesung is enough.


Le Fin.


A/N: Okay, so the last chapter—LAST ;A; I feel like one of my baby is planning to leave the nest...or rather, I'm never going to see it ever again T-T What makes me feel really surreal is that I started this during the Bonamana period and now, I'm ending it at the beginning of the Mr.Simple period. A whole year guys, you guys have been with me for a whole year. Crazy, eh?

Anyway, thank you for sticking with me through this long journey. This is my second fanfiction so I know that my writing is rusty, and etc but you overlooked that and continued with me ^^ Thank you, to all of your :)

The ending, I'm not really happy with but it's taken me days to finish this and this is the best ending that I think is like a full circle ending. Thanks to my beta for checking over my chapters, the countless and rather careless mistakes.

Again, thank you all <3 I'm planning to write a lot more in the future, so please support it ^^ /bows.
Tags: fic: i still care, ryeowook, super junior, yesung
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