The sky's the limit; dream big ★ (deleaah) wrote,
The sky's the limit; dream big ★

I Still Care [11/14]

I Still Care [11/14]

Yesung/Ryeowook, a few ninjas
R | Romance, Drama
Life was never particularly kind to Ryeowook. If it meant indulging him in the riches, opportunies thrown at him, then he doesn't need that kindness. All he wanted is a friend, but it's much too hard to ask for.
Warnings: Mentions of drugs, weapons, some vulgar slips, insanely OOC

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10


A month has gone by and I've been caught up with my other fanfics T__T I'm sorry for the delay and carry on reading ^^



It was so chaotic…way too chaotic to handle. 12 people in a frenzy of cries, tears and fright. I’m expected to be the calm leader that soothes everyone, fill them with sweet comforting words but in a situation like this, it’s hard to stop the tears…it’s hard to remain calm and assure them that everything’s okay…when I’m pretty sure…it is far from okay.


I stare at Ryeowook; crouch down, his head buried in his arms, unmoving. The hate I held for him in these past months seem to evaporate and it was overwhelm with sympathy. We don’t know what happen to Yesung. We got a text from Yesung, telling us to meet at the bar. When we arrive, we just see Yesung…on the ground, lifeless. It nearly gave us a heart attack and with Ryeowook being so unresponsive was scary.

In what felt like an eternity, the curtains were unveiled, and there was Yesung. Yesung who had an oxygen mask on, Yesung who had his eyelids shut tight and he could have been mistaken for taking a short nap but for some reason…I felt that he would be asleep for a long time.

I was in a daze for too long because everyone started to crowd around Yesung while the nurses and doctor tried to push his bed to a different room.

Ryeowook was the first to sprint up and ask for his wellbeing while the look in the doctor’s eyes was evident that he wasn’t okay.

“Are his relatives here?” The doctor ask while skimming the room, only to be met with some tear filled boys and some trying to hold back the tears.

We all shook our heads, Leeteuk called them but they didn’t pick up…so he left them a message.

“Can we know about his condition?” Leeteuk ask, while we all nodded, vigorously showing our agreement.

“Luckily he got here in time; his life is not in danger…” The doctor trailed off. I could feel a gust of wind as everyone let out a sigh of relief. We should all be happy that he’s alive but the look of pity in the doctor’s eyes haunted me…I don’t know why…it held so much pain and it was hard to look away from it.

“But…” But…the word that can drastically alter the meaning of a sentence; I hate that word. I love you BUT I love someone else. I studied all night for the test BUT I somehow failed. I tried to keep my promise BUT I’m sorry, I couldn’t…

“But…it seems as if the concentration of the drug he consumes is far greater than the average amount a regular male can take…his life may not be in danger but…he will remain in a coma for the time being.” That’s when I felt like all the emotions were knock out of me. I just stood there, frozen, shock, in a daze. What the fuck is happening?


I couldn’t help but feel that it was my fault that Yesung’s strap to a bunch of wires, connecting to a bunch of machines. Reality looks so ugly, but there was nowhere to hide. We were force to face the cruel reality but I know that none of us can accept this reality.

Yesung…please wake up…I’ll grant you any wish…If it’s within my grasps, then I’ll do it…just come back…I quietly pleade while holding onto his hand, trying to desperately warm his cold hand. I unravel my fist to reveal the ring you gave me. I won’t wear it until you wake up…so until then, it’ll just stay inside my wallet.

I felt sudden warmth on my shoulder and peer to my left. I see Leeteuk’s gentle smile and I don’t know…I relax a bit…It’s stupid to admit this but I don’t know why…he gave me a sense of reassurance, dependence; an aura that an older brother would possess. I don’t know when these feelings first form but I felt a little bit happy knowing that I can depend on someone.

“Visiting hours…are over. Let’s go home and rest. We have practice tomorrow…” he reminded me while I nodded. He tried his hardest to give us the reliance we needed but sometimes, it would be nice if he could be selfish and make us baby him...give him this sense of reassurance.

“Hyung…it’s okay, you don’t have to be strong. It’s not normal to be so insanely calm right now…” I said while patting his shoulder and walk out the door, giving Leeteuk that little amount of privacy he needed. He spent the whole hour running around from each member, soothing them with encouraging words, fighting off manager hyung’s angry words…I always thought the leader status was given to whoever was older; no skills were needed but after today…let’s just say, I have a new found respect for Leeteuk.


I peer around the huge group circle, eyeing each member, trying to search for a flicker of inspiration on where to start…how to find out the asshole who cause Yesung to fall into such a situation.

“He was at the bar, right? Let’s start there,” Sungmin said while scribbling into a little notebook.

“He was with Ryeowook as well,” Kangin added while crossing his arms, frustrated. We all came to practice an hour prior to the original time so Ryeowook wouldn’t be present. We’re not doing this because we blame him but no matter how strong a person is, he cannot be in a clear state of mind in this situation. The fact that Ryeowook didn’t cry that day astonish me. I don’t doubt their love for each other…but how? How can you be calm when your lover could be dying on the other side of the curtains? There was only one answer. Ryeowook is trying his hardest to stay calm during times like this. He believes that it’s his fault and doesn’t think that he deserves to be sad because he cause all of this…

“Ryeowook was at the bar…and somehow drugs got involved…linking it back to Ryeowook,” Heechul stated while trying to recall his memory. I saw little bubbles with words in the center connected with a line being scribbled in Sungmin’s notebook.

“Ryeowook was involved with drugs in the past…do think it was his drugs?” Donghae ask while I gave him a nudge. He looked at me with curiosity overwhelming his eyes and I slightly shook my head.

“No, it wasn’t Ryeowook. He learned from that mistake last time. He was in a state of redemption for so long…he wouldn’t make the same mistake again,” Sungmin commented while we nodded in agreement.

“But there was that one friend…” Leeteuk remarks while everyone immediately lifts their heads and our eyes glisten.

“Ivan…” I mumble while Sungmin was writing his name down and connected a bunch of ideas to his bubble.

“Where do you think we can find him?” Hangeng ask while we all stare at each other in confusion. We could find him via Ryeowook because that means that we would have to explain the situation, then he would be aware of this, and he would break down on the inside…

“I have some information on him…” Heechul spoke up, showing genuine interest for the first time.

“Hyung, why do you have information on him?” someone ask and we all sigh. This is Heechul we’re talking about; his actions are unpredictable. He’s like a synonym for surprise.

“Because I’m Kim Heechul,” he responds. As if that one line could explain everything. He rolls his eyes. He took out a stack of paper from a folder and held it out for us to see. There was a form with his address, background, height, weight and a picture of him clip at the top right. We all gape at the amount of information before us.

“Last time, I’m pretty sure Ryeowook was framed….but no evidence. I saw him at the bar so I ask a friend of mine to do a background check on him…” he explains while we all stare at Heechul in amazement, thankful of his observant skills and him…for just being Heechul.

“Alright, it says that he usually leaves work at around 6, similar to our practice time. How about we stalk him for any suspicious act?” Leeteuk asks while scanning through the papers, pinpointing the important information and leaving out the useless ones. Sometimes…I think Leeteuk is like a machine…

“That sounds good,” Donghae says. “Hyukkie and I will start today, then we’ll rotate…bu—“ He was cut off by Kibum, suddenly motioning for us to stop.

“Ryeowook’s coming; listen to his footsteps…” He whispers while all of us slightly lean in towards the hallway and there it was…the sound of his footsteps.

“Okay, Eunhae, you get the first shift tonight…and remember…don’t tell Ryeowook,” Leeteuk reminded us as we all nodded and Heechul scurried to put his folder away.

“It’s Haehyuk!” Donghae retorted back, causing us to erupt in a fit of laughter.


The minute I walk in, I knew something was wrong. Things were too quiet…everyone was either stretching, jogging or, like Kibum, reading. For 11 males in this room, the silence gave it an eerie vibe.

“Hey, guys…I’m here,” I respond while they all greeted and practice started just like that.


After practice, everyone agreed to order take outs. Eunhyuk and Donghae volunteer to go pick them up. I raise my eyebrow in surprise at Leeteuk when he first announces it. It’s not like we don’t order take outs but we usually drive around in manager hyung’s car to pick them up…and for two people to carry 12 people's dinner…that’s a big hassle.

Surprisingly, everyone seems to agree with the idea, so I just shrug it off. Since we all have a break afterwards, I decided to visit someone.


“It’s nice seeing you after a million years, Kim Ryeowook,” my grandmother, Yunhee, says the moment she sees me. I chuckle in response as she leads me into the house. From her back, I could tell that she was mad that I didn’t visit for so long.

“Yunhee, don’t be like this. I have training,” I said while massaging her shoulders. A smile crack her mad expression and she soften a bit.

“That boy, Jongwoon, comes to visit me despite his training. You can’t use that excuse,” she says while sitting on the couch and getting out her knitting needles. In the modern world, people would go out and buy a knitted sweater if they ever want one but my grandmother prefers to knit them. It comes from the heart was what she always told me.

“Wait? He comes here?” I ask after finally processing it through my head.

“Yes, after that bar incident, he came frequently…about once or twice a week,” she explains, her full attention on her knitting.

“He’s a nice boy,” grandfather comments, poking his head out from the kitchen. I smile at him and wave back at him.

I felt horrible…horrible for not visiting my grandparents, and horrible for not noticing Yesung’s absence. I didn’t know he visited them. If he told me…I would have gone with him…

“Where’s he lately? I haven’t seen much of him…” Yunhee said, a drop of curiosity in her voice.

I felt a strange numbness run through my body…should I tell her? Should I lie? How could I lie to her? I don’t know. It only took a few seconds for me to process my thoughts but those few seconds was all that it took to give me away.

“Tell me the truth,” she ordered, not giving me an option to refuse to her.

“Okay…I’m going to start…but it’s pretty long,” I warn before taking a big breath.


I heard Yunhee take a sharp intake of breathe while grandfather shot out of the kitchen, shock, daze and surprise.

I didn’t know how to respond to their reactions…what should I say now that I’m done retelling the story…?

“It’s going to be okay, Wookie,” grandfather said, patting me on the back. I don’t know why he was doing this but it gave me a sense of comfort.

“Thanks…” I mumble. Suddenly, my vision waver and I didn’t notice that tears were forming at the corner of my eyes. That’s probably why grandfather tried to reassure me. I close my eyes to try to stop the tears from escaping.

“’s okay, you don’t have to be strong,” my grandmother said as she gave my hands a little squeeze. Through my blurred vision, I can see her smiling and I knew…that I couldn’t keep it in.

I cried for who knows how long…I didn’t care that I was a 19-year-old, crying over love matters. I didn’t care that I was practically throwing my pride out the windows…what’s the point of being so prideful if it results me turning into some heartless monster?

“Grandmother…I don’t know…it’s all my fault…I could have — I should have done something to stop him…but I didn’t…” I muffle through the lump in my throat. She affectionately stroke my head as she whispers soothing words.

“It’s okay, Wookie…no one blames you…you didn’t know…” Grandfather whispers as he continues to pat my back.

“I don’t know…if I could do something for him to regain his consciousness…I’ll do anything…I’ll grant all of his wishes even if they're impossible…I’ll try my hardest…” I stutter while I close my eyes. Why aren’t the tears stopping?

“There is one thing that he wishes before leaving…” Grandfather remarks. I look up and stare into his eyes which were a pool of confusion.

“Tell me.”

“Well…he’s been asking a lot about you to try to understand you better…and we told him about your relationship with your parents…” Grandmother added. I nodded as her story progress. I wasn’t mad that they told…I wasn’t mad that Yesung was snooping around my personal life…I was slightly mad because he didn’t ask me…okay…maybe that was a lie. I would be a little bothered but that’s it…

“He said that he wanted you to mend your relationship with your parents…” Grandfather finish Grandmother’s sentence for her and I stood there, dumfounded. Mending my relationship with my parents is like telling Heechul hyung to stop loving Hangeng hyung…it’s impossible…I only call them my parents because they are my parents; legally and biologically but they have never done anything that can be consider parental. We would be lucky we could hold a 20 minute conversation…

“He wasn’t asking you to love your parents…but he wants there to be no hate…” Grandmother clarifies once she sees my not-so-happy expression.


“A man needs to keep their words, Wookie. You just said that you’ll try to grant his wish…” Grandmother complains when my expression shows no sign of changing.

“I know, I know,” I said while the thought still disturbs me…my parents and I…mending relationship…impossible but I’ll give it a try…


After what seem like an eternity, I had to bid my farewell. I didn’t know time flies by so quickly. I was about an hour away before curfew and knew that manager hyung would literally kill me if I was late…AGAIN.

“Bye, ~ Wookie take care.” Grandmother said, planting a light kiss on my forehead as I bended my knees. I sort of miss her kisses; the ones she gave me before I went to school, when I left to live in the dormitory…

“Thanks, Grandmother,” I said while I landed a soft kiss on her cheeks.

Before leaving, Grandfather pulled me into the kitchen for some man-on-man talk. I chuckle because he looked completely serious when he said that.

“What’s up?” I glance at their Cchina teacup sets in the cabinet. They still haven’t change one bit; still have the habit of taking their afternoon tea.

“Ryeowook, this thing that happened to Yesung, base on your stories…it looks like he took your place that night…you were suppose to be in the hospital…and remember all the pots falling, the car accidents, etc….they’re not coincidences; someone’s out there to get you. Be careful and be alert,” Grandfather said in a stern voice that meant business. I gulped…all the falling pots…car accidents…they were all done intentionally? So someone’s out there to get me? It’s sick-minded and really weird but I should somewhat be thankful for that…it brought me closer to Yesung…

“I understand, Grandfather. Thank you for the advice,” I responded.

“Don’t tell your grandmother about this…” he advises while I nodded.

As I left the house, I knew who was trying to get me…the one who cause Yesung to be in the hospitals…the one whom I will get revenge on…Ivan.

I whip out my cell phone and call the one person who I know will direct me towards Ivan.


To be honest, I don't know how the fanfic will end yet...and the last time I updated...there weren't any comments so I'm not sure if I should continue this or not...if no one reads it and if I don't have a ending, why not just end it now? Sorry guys for being so pessimistic :X

To anyone that reads it: thanks for supporting it for this long :)~

Tags: fic: i still care, ryeowook, super junior, yesung, yewook
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